Daily PlanIt Emotional Skills Relationships While love is a gift freely given, healthy relationships are about balanced appreciation and mutual respect. To improve relationship skills: Know yourself Develop strong self-esteem Develop emotional intelligence Act lovingly Become a great communicator Know how to resolve conflicts Look for compatibilty Accept or release with love Life is change, but often not in ways that we might expect. There is often something we would like to change about ourselves as well as others. But change is the ultimate self-help project, making efforts to change others spectacularly ineffective and problematic. In the book "Real Love" Greg Baer says that attempts to control others indicate that we are not accepting them. This does not mean we must accept unloving behavior; it does mean setting your own limits and requesting what you want without demanding it or expecting you will always get it. Building strong relationships based on the Search Institute's 40 Developmental Assets are guidelines for how to treat family, friends, and yourself.